I am an emotional person...(understatement). 

However, even though I have all of the emotions of twelve people at a time (no I don't have MPD...pretty sure) I do a great job (self evaluated) at keeping them under control.  That is... until the other day. 

Short scenario... I have almost all guy friends.  Being a girl, this is awesome and awful all at once.  Sometimes they forget that even though I am a gun toting, boxing BA (that's short hand for Bad Ass. also, I'm not really gun toting, but I do know how to shoot well) I still have feelings and a somewhat (very) sensitive soul.  SO when I am sad and expressing hurt feelings to them and they LAUGH at me when I am crying... chaos ensues.  This has only happened to me once in my life, and my reaction was just as surprising to my victim (read: best friend... or was...) as it was to myself. 

It went like this, as we are driving to the world's most magical place, Coors Field:

Me: crying.  hysterically.
Jerk: ...laughing.
Me: are you laughing at me right now?
Jerk: still laughing
Me: GET OUT!
Jerk: are you serious?
Me: GET OUT OF MY CAR

so he did.  And I drove away.  Then I called my dad.  He said "whoa whoa pull over you can not drive and cry like this, this is not like you".  My response?  "Dad, I can't pull over! I have to get away, if I stop, he might think I was joking."

So I kept driving.  I regained my composure.  I called some other friends and we all went to the game.  And guess what?  It was awesome.

And guess what else?  I don't even feel bad.  

Sometimes I guess you just have to demand some respect.

keep your head down

Atoms have a nucleus, made of protons and neutrons bound together. Around this nucleus shells of electrons spin, and each shell is either full or trying to get full, to balance with the number of protons—to balance the number of positive and negative charges. An atom is like a human heart, you see.  — Kim Stanley Robinson

I've decided this is my time to strike my balance in life. I won't say "it's been a long time coming" nor will I say "I hope this works"...but I will say I've never been more ready for this. Mostly this blog will be for myself, but if someone stumbles across it and enjoys my recounts of learning to golf, starting my first real adult life career job, mishaps at boxing lessons, trips to Vegas and everything in between, then I guess that's ok too. Bonus points if I get a few laughs out of strangers too. Bonus bonus points if I can make people remember the simple beauty that surrounds all of us.

 This is from one of the Mile High Music Festivals in Denver, CO. The clouds look like angel wings.  Or a bat...